Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
