oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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