I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
