In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
