i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
