i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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