I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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