She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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