i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
