I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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