sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
