I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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