does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
