If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
