when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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