put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She bit a glass in half.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
