those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Randomize
