and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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