Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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