My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
time to smoke my breakfast
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
