I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
