Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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