So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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