he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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