My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
