he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize