bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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