i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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