I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
