He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
