Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
