Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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