It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This baby is an asshole
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
