i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
