I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
