I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We left the knife in your bed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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