when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
