I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
