I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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