I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
