i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
