Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
