Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
