It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
