somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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