i can't believe i had my finger in that
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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