Kareoke will never be a sober sport
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
