i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
