i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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