So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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