Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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