Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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