Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wish my penis had a tongue
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
