I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
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