Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
