Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
