I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
