Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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