White coat. Heels.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
