you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
