Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
