Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
