I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
