I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
