Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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