i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize