well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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